This male chastity FAQ answers probably 90% of the questions we get most commonly asked.
Statistically, that means whatever subject you’re thinking of asking us it’s more likely than not we’ve already answered it.
Important: If you ask us a question and we’ve already answered it in this FAQ, you won’t get a reply from us.
In other words, when you’re not getting a reply to your message is already A Big Clue.
The questions and answers in this FAQ are a mixture of general questions about male chastity and specific ones about how we live the lifestyle. The questions below are in no particular order.
Male Chastity FAQ 1. I have a question you might have already answered on the Blog, but…
First, read this FAQ. Then read the Blog — all of it.
When you’ve done that, then you should subscribe to our blog posts and receive periodic male chastity guide – because you also get a newsletter and that’s where we answer the questions you ask us. We hate to keep repeating this, but probably 90% of the questions we get asked we’ve already explained, and it’s up to you to check out the resources before clamoring for our attention.
Male Chastity FAQ 2. We enjoy doing ‘X’. Is that OK?
Yes. If you both consent, then it’s fine.
No one else has a say.
It’s your life.
Male Chastity FAQ 3. How can I convince my partner to embrace the male chastity lifestyle?
The short answer is… you can’t.
A longer answer is never mind the damage, the hype, and fantasy you’ll read about in Blogs and Forums can do to your plans, facts and information won’t help – to be convinced, they need to convince themselves, and, to do that, they’ve got to experience it and feel it happening.
So, show them, don’t just tell them. Take it slowly and carefully and realize it’s not like poking your eye out or losing a limb — if you get something wrong, it’s not essential unless you get into a tizzy and make it important.
The main thing is to start gently, with small baby steps.
Male Chastity FAQ 4. My wife is making me do this. I don’t like it, and I have no choice. I’m in a permanent chastity belt. What can I do?
Go away. You always have a choice, no one makes you wear a belt, and there is no such thing as a permanent chastity belt. Any of them no matter how well made and out of whatever material can be cut off. Simple.
Male Chastity FAQ 5. No, but really. She says she’ll divorce me if I don’t do it!
Then find yourself another wife. The one you have really isn’t worth your time. You deserve better.
Male Chastity FAQ 6. Such and such is a really hot fantasy. Should we do it?
We don’t know. Should you? We don’t know you or your personal circumstances, and we don’t know your partner, either. So we can’t possibly even begin to guess what the results might be if you engage your fantasies, no matter what they are.
What we can tell you, though, is almost any decision you make while in a highly emotional state is unlikely to be a good one. When you are emotional, you are not thinking logically – which means the rational and often predictable consequences of your actions will be hidden from you.
If you do make the right decision, it will be more by luck than by judgment. And, in general, the hotter the fantasy, the more extreme it tends to be. Which means it’s even more important to think about it dispassionately.
Our advice is to discuss the fantasy when you’re both calm and unlikely to get hot and bothered – perhaps after you’ve just made love and you’ve both had your orgasms.
Ultimately, though, make your own choices. Just realize you reap what you sow, and some things really can’t be undone.
Male Chastity FAQ 7. Do we need a device to play at male chastity?
If you think you do, then you do.
On the other hand, if you think you don’t, then you don’t.
Many couples very successfully use the “Honour” system (including John and me on many occasions).
If it works for you both, then there’s your answer.
If it doesn’t, well, figure it out.
Male Chastity FAQ 8. Do we need to have a “chastity contract” in place?
See the question above.
Male Chastity FAQ 9. What’s the best male chastity device for me/my husband to wear?
The short answer is we don’t know.
It’s a bit like asking what’s the best kind of car – a Land Rover or a Rolls Royce.
And so the long answer is – it depends.
If you want to go off‐road and ford deep rivers, then a Land Rover would be a better choice than a Rolls; but if you’re looking for luxury transport to impress a visiting Diplomat, then you’d probably be better going for a Rolls.
Not only that, but different men’s bodies react in different ways to the same devices. Each has its advantages and disadvantages.
In general, we think it’s safe to say a full belt tends to be more secure than a simple device. The belts are also more expensive, in the main.
Ultimately, though, you won’t know what works for you unless you give something a try. It probably makes sense to start off (relatively) cheap and simple, say with something like a CB3000 and then see how that works.
If it does what you want it to do, then fine; if not, you may have to think again.
Bottom line: suck it and see. There is no other way.
Male Chastity FAQ 10. How long should I make my husband wait?
It’s up to you. There are no rules about this.
Generally, though it probably needs to be long enough for him to be serious about wanting to orgasm, and then a little longer on top. Otherwise, what’s the point in doing it?
How long this varies from man to man. Some claim they are climbing the walls within a week; others take a month or more.
On the whole, the younger a man is, the faster he’s going to start going “stir crazy”.