13 Sex Tips for Gay Men Who Think They Know It All
If you think you’re an expert, think again. There’s always more to be learned!
There are plenty of more basic sex tips out there for tops and bottoms who want to strengthen their game in bed, but what about for the experts? If you’re having plenty of sex, you probably already know to use a lot of lube. (Or conversely, your anus is so warmed up, you don’t even need any.) You also know more than three types of sexual positions. So these are some tips for tops/bottoms/versatile men who don’t need a 101 crash course, but a 401 masters level seminar.
Here are 13 sex tips for gay guys who think they know everything about sex!
1. Squeeze your hole while he’s inside you
As bottoms, you obviously need to loosen your hole wide enough for him to insert himself inside of you. But once you’re warmed up, periodically squeeze your hole as he’s penetrating you. The pressure not only feels really good for him, but for you too.
2. Switch condoms between partners
So hopefully you’re doing this already, but if you’re topping a number of guys (first of all, good for you), you should be switching condoms between partners, no matter how squeaky clean their anuses are. You don’t want to transfer any bacteria or anything else between partners…
3. Rule of thumb: hands should always be busy
If your hands aren’t doing something then you’re dong something wrong. They can be holding on the bedpost for dear life. They can be touching your partner’s chest, jerking them off, holding their hand. Your hands should never be laying by your side doing nothing.
4. Kegel squeeze while inside of him
So if you’re a pro, you already know what Kegel exercises are and how they strengthen your PC muscle. If you’re topping, do a Kegel squeeze inside of him. It moves your penis up and down, hitting different places, which feels really good for the man bottoming.
5. Use vibrating cock rings
There’s really nothing much more to add than this. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like it. It feels good for the top, helping him to achieve a more full-body orgasm, and it feels really good for the bottom, because you’re vibrating his booty. It’s just a win-win, and I’m surprised why more guys aren’t using them all the damn time.
6. Spread those cheeks wide before devouring his hole
WIDE. None of this baby spread nonsense. You want to get up IN there. Pull his cheeks apart as far as they go before feasting on that cake.
7. Change up locations
Are you a pro or are you a pro? Pros don’t have sex in the bedroom every single time. They take their lovemaking sessions to the living room, laundry room, outdoors, and even sex clubs.
Such a simple thing to do, and it’s advice that every sex expert gives, yet I find myself (and so many others) getting so excited that they forget to breathe during sex. Breath control helps you manage your orgasms (and can delay them). So it’s particularly good to pay notice to breath if you have a tendency to get a little too excited and ejaculate prematurely.
9. Give subtle feedback
If you’re a pro, you should known to give direct, explicit feedback too. “That feels good. Do more of that!” But there’s also the more subtle feedback, which some guys prefer to receive. Moan loudly if he does something you like while blowing you. Arch your hips so he hits the spot you want him to hit. Guide his hands where you want them to go. These are ways to communicate what you want sexually without being blunt.
10. Mimic his style
In general, people kiss the way they like being kissed. If they use a lot of tongue, they want tongue in return. If they’re deepthroating your dick, that’s probably how they like receiving oral. Sometimes this isn’t the case, as subs prefer doms, not other subs, but if you’re not engaging in a play that is supposed to have a power discrepancy, this is a good general rule to live by.
11. Double your foreplay time and tease
Maybe you’re already good about this, but I’m just going to go off on a limb and assume you’re not. I, too, have a tendency of wanting to get down to business ASAP, but when I have more foreplay, more kissing, and more teasing prior to getting down to business, the sex is so much better.
12. Find the perfect dirty-talk balance
This is really difficult and requires you to read your partner. Some guys love dirty talk, the dirtier the better. Some guys hate it. Some guys, like myself, find it performative unless done with more intention than “this is sexy because it’s dirty.” In other words, don’t just say it for the sake of saying it. Get into it and and mean it.
13. Step up your music game
Sex to music is infinitely better than sex without. It also sets the mood. If you’re going for rough, better get some music that screams “pump me daddy.” If you’re going for love making, play some R&B. If you’re going for naughty, find some music you consider naughty. (You get the gist!)